Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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