im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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