Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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