he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
