My Higher Power is John Stamos
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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