she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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