Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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