Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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