i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
