Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
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What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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