i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off