It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
