like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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