i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
