im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
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So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize