I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
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So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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