She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize