She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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