So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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