I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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