Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
