But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
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They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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