You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
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There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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