Your face is a jimmy john
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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