if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
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I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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