I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
