I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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