Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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