Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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