U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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