Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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