you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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