3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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