I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
