chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
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you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i out mim tonsoeep
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