if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
