What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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