And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize