pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize