I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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