using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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