i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
no you cant smoke seaweed
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!