Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...