The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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