I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize