Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?

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  (248): sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking? http://tfl.nu/8ucv
  Replies (1) Good night (1551) Bad night (549)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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  (713): we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company. http://tfl.nu/8nsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1145) Bad night (501)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

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  (913): You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting http://tfl.nu/1yn1
  Replies (21) Good night (2751) Bad night (994)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore

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  (405): Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore http://tfl.nu/6icm
  Replies (27) Good night (493) Bad night (3245)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  love makes seman taste better

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  (937): love makes seman taste better http://tfl.nu/bxjy
  Replies (37) Good night (4648) Bad night (918)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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  (360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam
  Replies (40) Good night (16634) Bad night (2182)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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  (479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o
  Replies (11) Good night (2550) Bad night (886)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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  (701): He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin. http://tfl.nu/a8q9
  Replies (4) Good night (1978) Bad night (553)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.

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  (423): All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited. http://tfl.nu/itw0
  Replies (8) Good night (2917) Bad night (842)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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  (941): Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass? http://tfl.nu/sdtw
  Replies (4) Good night (1733) Bad night (598)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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  (706): Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence. http://tfl.nu/oul5
  Replies (0) Good night (1026) Bad night (406)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.

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  (202): We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals. http://tfl.nu/d350
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (434)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (559) Bad night (747)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying

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  (330): I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying http://tfl.nu/l6qe
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (689)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure

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  (941): I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure http://tfl.nu/4g2x
  Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (255)

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