I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
