thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
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just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"