What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.