Texts From Last Night

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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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  (636): I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me? http://tfl.nu/6q93
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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  (218): Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/rj2z
  Replies (22) Good night (2839) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now

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  (337): He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now http://tfl.nu/rj5l
  Replies (23) Good night (1302) Bad night (4705)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No period for spring break; use this wisely.

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  (919): No period for spring break; use this wisely. http://tfl.nu/lbmo
  Replies (21) Good night (5469) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me

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  (616): im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me http://tfl.nu/gxh6
  Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (2908)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable

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  (732): wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5ca2
  Replies (16) Good night (6695) Bad night (1139)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

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  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2388) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?

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  (620): would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him? http://tfl.nu/7gug
  Replies (4) Good night (1017) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.

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  (518): hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person. http://tfl.nu/wx7g
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.

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  (251): Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile. http://tfl.nu/y0n1
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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  (306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?

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  (303): His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls? http://tfl.nu/8cye
  Replies (11) Good night (412) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?

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  (602): I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/qto4
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"

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  (443): You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty" http://tfl.nu/zep8
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.

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  (315): Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting. http://tfl.nu/ok3b
  Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (220)

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