Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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  (410): To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor... http://tfl.nu/oppe
  Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (424)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes

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  (603): my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes http://tfl.nu/2y76
  Replies (14) Good night (664) Bad night (3266)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.

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  (905): so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever. http://tfl.nu/wzae
  Replies (126) Good night (23299) Bad night (1769)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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  (919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself. http://tfl.nu/ufys
  Replies (46) Good night (602) Bad night (3286)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

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  (504): his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time... http://tfl.nu/szlj
  Replies (47) Good night (2239) Bad night (7843)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.

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  (843): I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it. http://tfl.nu/atu5
  Replies (16) Good night (5810) Bad night (589)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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  (859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp
  Replies (70) Good night (3342) Bad night (5181)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.

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  (814): I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade. http://tfl.nu/dxnr
  Replies (14) Good night (1213) Bad night (3256)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf

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  (512): dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf http://tfl.nu/h3mw
  Replies (33) Good night (1970) Bad night (6041)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.

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  (850): HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF. http://tfl.nu/8qce
  Replies (12) Good night (1072) Bad night (2741)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast

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  (502): How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast http://tfl.nu/g6rv
  Replies (15) Good night (1812) Bad night (4330)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule

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  (250): And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule http://tfl.nu/gp5a
  Replies (8) Good night (3562) Bad night (785)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.

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  (515): I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that. http://tfl.nu/ig7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1402) Bad night (676)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck

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  (817): This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck http://tfl.nu/mv3p
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (346)
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  (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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  (925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (285)

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