Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (745) Bad night (3392)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny

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  (978): it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny http://tfl.nu/hpxx
  Replies (17) Good night (844) Bad night (2657)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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  (570): Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice. http://tfl.nu/vtyg
  Replies (31) Good night (1266) Bad night (4837)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

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  (240): You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool. http://tfl.nu/7f4d
  Replies (11) Good night (3859) Bad night (960)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  get to allyx's house asap

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Ok is everything ok

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, theres just lesbians

  (312): View more from Illinois

  omg yes on my way

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  (224): get to allyx's house asap (312): Ok is everything ok (224): Yeah, theres just lesbians (312): omg yes on my way http://tfl.nu/mxwb
  Replies (38) Good night (7130) Bad night (1463)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.

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  (619): Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen. http://tfl.nu/rhei
  Replies (27) Good night (1640) Bad night (6615)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

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  (607): Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country. http://tfl.nu/h8yr
  Replies (10) Good night (2256) Bad night (674)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.

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  (404): Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish. http://tfl.nu/tpdo
  Replies (15) Good night (1096) Bad night (3859)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job

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  (216): When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job http://tfl.nu/w0fk
  Replies (9) Good night (1685) Bad night (675)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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  (802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9
  Replies (23) Good night (2682) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??

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  (+44): My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts?? http://tfl.nu/jz5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1568) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.

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  (865): My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy. http://tfl.nu/ige6
  Replies (4) Good night (1735) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  They were both high priority

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  (970): Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles. (970): They were both high priority http://tfl.nu/wgo8
  Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.

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  (310): Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/bhek
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  Haahahahahahhaaa

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  (970): You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed. (1-970): Haahahahahahhaaa http://tfl.nu/4fhz
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (131)

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