I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You ruined the universe
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
