u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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