make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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