I'm gonna have a badass scar
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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