...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize